


fall down the rabbit hole

by LexiWritesThings



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Animal Fostering, Canon Compliant, Cuuuuuute, Fluff, Future Fic, M/M, That's it, absolutely adorable, bitty and jack foster a rabbit, i guess?, that's the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 11:01:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17282831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexiWritesThings/pseuds/LexiWritesThings
Summary: Several things happen in a row: Eric ducks under Jack’s arm to stand next to him on the doorstep. Shitty continues sneezing at a rather alarming rate. The bundle in Lardo’s arms shifts several times before a small pink nose emerges from the blankets. Eric lets out a small, startled gasp. Lardo grins so widely it looks as if her cheeks will tear. Jack sighs deeply.'Swawesome Santa 2018 fic for belislythindor, who requested Zimbits fostering a bunny.





	fall down the rabbit hole

**Author's Note:**

  * For [belislythindor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/belislythindor/gifts).



> Please watch [this crucial video](https://pieandpucks.tumblr.com/post/179065695640/lmao-homeboy-struggled-idk-who-he-is-but-i-love) before reading because it is vitally important (not really, just a fun addition)!!

In hindsight, Jack should have known something was up by the strange, slightly coy tone of Lardo’s voice over the phone.

 

“Yeah, Shitty and I’ll be over around 4:30. You aren’t thinking about going anywhere tonight?”

 

“Nope, having you guys over is all we’ve got planned. Is everything okay?”

 

Lardo’s answering laugh _definitely_ should have been a give away. Never let it be said that Jack Zimmermann is keenly observant of social cues.

 

So really, he should have been less surprised when, at 4:30 on the dot, Lardo and Shitty appear at their front door, a small bundle cradled in Lardo’s arms and a shit-eating grin stretched across her lips.

 

“Jackabelle—Shitty starts, then violently sneezes several times in a row, bending over dramatically at the waist. Jack raises an eyebrow and wonders if he should be concerned, but Lardo doesn’t look too worried, so he supposes that Shitty’s fine.

 

“Thanks so much for inviting us into your home—” Lardo moves forward, attempting to push past Jack through the front door. Jack stops her with a large hand on her shoulder, eyebrows draw together in confusion. He’s about to ask the very obvious questions—what’s in the bundle, why is Shitty dying on his front porch, the like—when Eric’s voice comes from behind him.

 

“What’s the hold up out there?”

 

Several things happen in a row: Eric ducks under Jack’s arm to stand next to him on the doorstep. Shitty continues sneezing at a rather alarming rate. The bundle in Lardo’s arms shifts several times before a small pink nose emerges from the blankets. Eric lets out a small, startled gasp. Lardo grins so widely it looks as if her cheeks will tear. Jack sighs deeply.

* * *

Turns out, Shitty is highly allergic to rabbits.

 

“It sucks so goddamn much! They’re so fucking soft and cute and shit and the universe has decided to fuck me up the ass by turning me into a sneezing fucking fool whenever I’m around them!”

 

It also turns out Benadryl doesn’t make Shitty drowsy in the slightest.

 

“So that’s why we’re asking if you two can foster her,” Lardo says, cutting off Shitty’s tirade when he pauses to take a drink from his beer. “The studio receptionist was desperate to find someone to take her and I don’t know what would happen if I turned around and handed her back.”

 

Jack only somewhat hears Lardo’s explanation. He’s too busy watching Bitty as he sits on the floor, the small bunny snuffling around in his lap. She’s mostly orange with some lighter white patches of fur scattered about, her small nose a light pink. Her ears twitch constantly, as does her nose. Jack’s surprised she hasn’t retreated back into the blankets on the floor—from what he understood, rabbits were skittish and suspicious of any and everyone. The little thing can’t be more than a few weeks old, but she seems strangely at home in Bitty’s lap. Jack understand the feeling.

 

“So, you gonna help a bro out and foster this bunny or what?”

 

Jack shifts his gaze back to Lardo, who looks far too smug. A rush of thoughts spins through his head—he’s busy with hockey, clearly, and Eric’s success as a guest food columnist for the New York Times means his vlogs have picked up popularity, translating to quite a few offers for interviews and conventions and the like. Do they have time to foster a rabbit? The resources? Are they prepared for the _commitment_?

 

Jack likes to over-analyze things, sue him.

 

“Lardo, this is a lot to ask—” Jack starts, trying his hardest to ignore the steely look Lardo levels him with as soon as he opens his mouth. Bitty’s voice cuts him off before he can continue.

 

“ _Oh my god_ , Jack, she’s so cute! Come on, honey, we have to take her.”

 

Jack turns back to Bitty and the bunny and the light streams in through the window at just that moment, lighting up his boyfriend like some sort of ethereal being, a hopeful gaze in his eyes and a wide smile on his lips.

 

And, well, Jack could hardly resist Bitty on a good day, and when the younger man had that wide, sincere smile curling at his lips, it would be cruel for Jack to say anything, really.

* * *

Growing up, Jack never really had pets. With the amount of time he spent training, there really wasn’t enough time to beg for an animal companion. Not that Jack ever felt particularly interested in caring for an animal. He had figured it was hard enough to care for himself, let alone another living thing. He remembers a series of fish in the living room when he was young—he had spent hours staring at the little things and had come to realize that fish were rather boring.

 

While he had been in the Q, his mother had adopted a silky white Persian cat named Princess. She had kept it a secret, dropping hints to Jack about it for weeks. The damned thing hissed and swiped at Jack whenever he got near it—his father had reassured him Princess hated everyone except Alicia, but that didn’t exactly change Jack’s feelings on the matter.

 

Fostering a bunny was an entirely new experience, to say the least.

 

He and Bitty—mainly Bitty—spend several hours attempting to come up with a name for the little thing. Inspiration strikes as soon as they return home from the nearby animal supply store, arms laden with bags.

 

“Oh!” Bitty says, pausing in the doorway to the kitchen. “I got it! Peaches and Cream!” He pauses for a moment, biting his lower lip in the way Jack has come to know means he’s trying to come to a quick decision. “Or, well, Peaches for short, since it’s a bit long.”

 

The rabbit in question is asleep in the makeshift pen they had put together out of deconstructed cardboard boxes and old bath towels. Jack glances over at her as he sets down his load of bags. At this point, any name past “Bunny” would suffice. Though he had to admit, her coloring _did_ lend itself to Bitty’s suggestion. A small smile curved over Jack’s lips.

 

“Yeah, that works perfect, Bits.”

 

(Bitty FaceTimes Lardo and Shitty almost immediately after to fill them in—Shitty had looked so crestfallen when the two had left after dropping the rabbit off Bitty promised to keep them informed of every and anything to do with her.)

 

Peaches comes to them at five weeks old, and, according to Lardo, she’s already been weaned off formula by her previous foster. This makes things logistically a hell of a lot simpler—Jack had never bottle fed _anything_ , and he shudders to think of all the ways he could accidentally fuck it up and like, drown Peaches in warm formula.

 

It’s only a little anticlimactic when Bitty sets a little plate of romaine lettuce and radish tops next to the rabbit. She stares at the offered food for a moment, then inches closer, sniffing it. Finally, she carefully starts nibbling at the edge of a lettuce leaf, little nose bobbing up and down with each munch. It’s one of the most adorable things Jack has ever seen.

 

“Oh my gosh,” Bitty whispers, quickly swiping open the camera on his phone. Jack laughs quietly as his boyfriend begins cooing at Peaches on camera, moving in closer. The rabbit continues to eat contentedly, oblivious to Eric’s movements. In the back of his mind, Jack thinks that perhaps he and Eric are cut out for raising a small creature after all.

* * *

Jack is half correct—Bitty is entirely cut out to take care of a tiny, living, breathing thing. It’s clear that Peaches absolutely adores him. She snuffles in close whenever Bitty picks her up. She bounds over to him if she’s been let out of her pen. She performs little jumps and twists that are apparently called “binkies” whenever Bitty is around her. She _loves_ Bitty.

 

With Jack, not so much.

 

“It’s because you’re bigger than me,” Eric says whenever Jack’s attempts at petting Peaches ends in the rabbit fleeing behind something. Jack tries not to take it personally—especially when the little thing flops over to Bitty as soon as he kneels down.  

 

Peaches reacts in a similar manner whenever Jack attempts to feed her, sit next to her, and even when he looks at her. It’s hard to _not_ take it personally. So Jack decides early on to let Bitty take care of the rabbit. She clearly dislikes him, and a tiny part of Jack resents the fact that she had Bitty wrapped around her metaphorical finger.

 

(He knows this is childish. He _knows_ . But his brain is absolutely dumb sometimes and is apparently making him jealous of a _bunny_.)

 

And the thing is, Jack _wants_ to help take care of Peaches. Partly because he feels awful, just abandoning Eric with the responsibility and work and everything. Partly because he feels absolutely childish, just standing to the side all the time. And partly because, in a quiet part of his mind, Jack wants to prove to himself that he isn’t a massive failure when it comes to providing care and comfort to someone else.

 

Which is how Jack finds himself standing in front of the newly constructed pen set up in the guest bedroom, traveling crate in his arms and a veterinarian appointment looming ahead in the next two hours. Bitty is in the kitchen, finishing up final edits on his latest column, and had been wearing a fierce look of concentration that Jack knew meant he was _this close_ to finishing up. It would be the perfect thing, arriving in the kitchen with Peaches packed into her crate just as Bitty was closing his laptop.

 

Now the only thing that stood between Jack and victory was the temperament of one tiny rabbit.

 

“Allez, ma petite lapine,” Jack mutters, stepping over the front wall of the pen and crouching in the center. Peaches is curled in a corner, staring at Jack’s large form with her wide, glassy eyes. Her ears are flattened to her back, and she looks to be trying to make herself as small as possible. Not a great first start.

 

“It’s alright, I won’t hurt you,” Jack says softly as he slowly opens the front door of the crate and sets it aside, “We’re just going to go on a little adventure, yeah?”

 

Peaches looks unimpressed.

 

“Just stay there,” Jack says, though he questions why he thinks the bunny can understand him in the slightest, and oh-so slowly inches toward her, arms outstretched. Peaches remains frozen in place until Jack’s fingers are scant centimeters from her fur. Then, chaos.

 

Peaches darts away from Jack’s reach, pausing just to the left of him. Jack frowns, adjusts his angle, and tries again. This time, Peaches shoots in the opposite direction, still staring up at the hockey player. Jack huffs. He tries once more. The rabbit scurries between his legs, around the crate, to the opposite side of the circular pen.

 

“Crisse,” Jack swears, turning on his heel and reaching out for Peaches again. He doesn’t know why he even tries—it only results in him chasing the little thing in several circles around the pen.

 

Finally, she hops on top of the crate. Jack, panting, takes a hold of the crate, hoping Peaches will just fall right in. It’s a tense, still moment, and for a second, Jack thinks that this might work.

 

Instead, she leaps from the crate, performs several evasive maneuvers, and proves that her prey instincts are alive and well. Jack stumbles, turns, and nearly kills himself trying to keep his hands on the rabbit. It goes on for an embarrassingly long amount of time.

 

Then, Jack feels his hands clasp tightly around the rabbit and it’s over. He pulls the poor thing to his chest, stroking her as he moves to lower her into the crate, nearly falling on his ass in the process. He’s surprised to hear muffled laughter coming from the doorway.

 

“How long have you been there?”

 

Eric hums under his breath, tapping away at his phone with a grin on his face. He leans casually against the doorframe with bright mischief dancing in his eyes.

 

“Long enough to get a video of you flopping around like an idiot. What all were you trying to do, hon?”

 

Jack feels his face heat slightly and focuses his attention back on doing up the latches on the crate.

 

“Just wanted to help out and get Peaches ready to go.”

 

“Even though she never wants you near her?”

 

So his logic was maybe a bit flawed.

 

“...No comment.”

 

(The video Bitty tweets goes viral. Millions of people watch Jack desperately try to wrangle Peaches the rabbit and, presumably, laugh hard enough over it to share the experience with all their friends. The Falconers PR department joins in. Overall, not the worst press Jack had ever gotten. At least it was funny.)

* * *

After the vet fiasco, Jack decides enough is enough. Not only does he feel ridiculous, shoving off any and all rabbit-related work on Bitty, but a newfound desire to get Peaches just to _kind of_ like him emerges. And maybe he also wants to prove that he’s not entirely useless when it comes to emotional support, but that fact gets to stay locked in the deeper part of his brain.

 

So Jack resigns himself to research and slow progress in his spare time. When Eric brings the bunny her dinner, Jack accompanies him. After a long days of practice (and one strange photoshoot with Jack wearing rabbit ears—he swears revenge on George immediately), Jack sits next to Peaches’ pen, just existing in the presence of the young rabbit. Slowly but surely, Peaches stops scampering away and hiding whenever Jack enters the room.

 

“Well look at that,” Bitty remarks one evening and Jack leans over the pen slightly, gently scratching Peaches on her head. The rabbit is content enough to momentarily ignore the plate of food sitting next to her. Jack smiles to himself and secretly feels almost as much satisfaction as he normally does after a swift hat trick.

 

From there, it seems like it takes no time at all to get Peaches comfortable enough to sit in Jack’s lap and let him pick her up. Teaching her to sit on his head kind of just happens on its own.

 

“This is arguably the cutest thing in the world and the NHL should be paying me money for social media fodder at this point,” Eric says around a laugh as he takes a picture of Jack sitting on the couch, reading a book with Peaches perched on the top of his head. Jack just smiles and turns a page.

* * *

“I can’t believe this little brah’s already getting adopted,” Lardo says one afternoon, petting Peaches gently as she dozes in Jack’s lap.

 

Shitty tries and fails to hold in a sneeze. Bitty leans forward from his spot on the floor to grab the bottle on beer on the coffee table before the older man’s knee can topple it.

 

“Yeah, no, I’m ready to not fucking explode every time I come to Casa del Zim-Bits,” Shitty groans. Lardo pulls out a tissue from somewhere and hands it to Shits with a sympathetic pat to the leg.

 

Jack lets a hand scratch between Peaches’ ears as he watches Shitty rub blearily at his eyes. It had been tough, deciding to adopt the rabbit out. Originally, Jack had suggested they just keep the rabbit.

 

“We already have the space cleared,” he had pointed out.

 

“Sweetpea, if you make playoffs this year and I get invited to another series of conventions, who’s gonna look after her?”

 

Eric had a point. Scheduling the previous weeks had worked in their favor—Bitty was home whenever Jack wasn’t, the only travel happening when the Falconers were between games in Providence. It was unfair, to think that this would happen again. It would be entirely unfair to Peaches, who proved to crave human contact as much as possible, to leave her alone or with a stranger for long stretches of time.

 

Adoption was the natural next step. Bitty had put out an all-call on his Twitter, and, thanks in part to Jack’s most recent bought of media publicity, a flood of potential owners for Peaches streamed in. Jack had taken the selection process incredibly seriously, with Bitty having to remind him that, “Not everyone is perfect, Jack, be reasonable!”

 

Jack has to laugh at the situation. He would have thought Bitty would be the one distraught at the thought of just giving their furry companion away. Instead, he’s the one spending as much time with Peaches as possible. He had grown closer than he had expected with the little rabbit.

 

“Oh, shit, I just remembered,” Lardo says after a moment, bringing Jack back to the present. “Allie, the studio receptionist? She’s looking for more people to foster on a regular basis. Would you guys mind if I gave her your—”

 

“We’d love it,” Bitty says, catching Jack’s gaze. Jack smiles even more widely, a content warmth spreading through him. Yeah, he wouldn’t mind doing this all over again. As long as Bits is on board. They make a good team, especially when it comes to affectionate bunnies.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my gosh, I'm so happy to finally be posting this! To the lovely belislythindor and the 'Swawesome Santa organizers, I am SO SORRY this is so late! Lots of personal stuff happened around the holidays for me and really impacted everything. That being said, I love how this came out. I wish I could have spent more time with it, but c'est la vie. Hope you all enjoy this fluffy dive into officially writing for this fandom. Happy 2019!
> 
> ALSO NOTE: Jack and Bits choice to adopt out Peaches is something fosters everywhere have to do. Hannah Shaw, a kitten foster known as the Kitten Lady, frequently says the goal of fostering is goodbye. Plus, if you adopt out all your bunnies, you can get more to foster over time! You can help SO MANY furry babies. Anyway, just wanted to point that out. 
> 
> TRANSLATIONS:  
> "Allez, ma petite lapine": Come on, my little rabbit (feminine bc Peaches is a girl)


End file.
